[Grandma's brother, Pat, sent her many letters over the years which I will excerpt here. He also contributed to the family history that Grandma wrote. Here he shares his remembrances of their brother, Bernard, who died in his late 30s of complications from diabetes].
Bernard "Tuffy" McManus
"Protective, kind, considerate, compassionate, a "sucker" for someone with a "sob story" - (I will always think that his nickname was a misnomer - he was strong, straightforward, I suppose you could say Tough in a sort of a lovable way.)
I should be ashamed of myself! I certainly took advantage of my big brother (while growing up). I remember how I used to stick him with most of my chores around the house and in the vegetable garden. He would always cover up for me. I remember how he used to protect me from all the young "Bullies" in Roscoe. None of them dared touch me because of Tuffy - and I made sure they never forgot it!!!
When they had the Football banquet in my Sr. year of High School (I had gone out for the football team (all 115lbs of me) and stuck out the whole year altho I only got to play about 2 - 3 minutes when the game was decided (over). "Sonny" Mills the coach told me he was sorry I didn't get to play more but "Tuffy" made him promise he wouldn't put me in the game until he told him it was safe for me to go in - and since Tuffy played til the game was decided I sat on the bench.
Tuffy was picked on the first All-Mon Valley Team as a guard.
He was also picked by coaches as All WPIAL guard.
He was picked on Dartmouth College all opponent team as a Freshman at Allegheny College.
He was picked on the New York Daily Mirrors all Eastern Team as a Freshman (The sportswriter saw him play against Dartmouth and picked him on the basis of that performance).
His Charlie Chaplin imitation was a true delight for all the kids in Roscoe.
Patty and Maureen have fond memories of him and his red headed girl friend but their most vivid memory of Roscoe is of grand pap taking "grand ma's" change out of the table drawer in the kitchen and taking them over to Farquahr's store and buying them candy.
Everything in California is fine - and hardly a day passes that I don't hear some comment about your visit and about "Heidi" - she really made an impression.
Pat(sy)
Grandma
Grandma in Morocco!
Monday, March 17, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
The Happy Side
Week of May 18th 1981
When I write entries in this diary, I think "Eternal hour glass of existence will be turned again and again (and you with it.)" I do the same thing day after day, year after year, there is nothing new. I realize that I will have to live with every pain, sorrow, joy, sigh returning in somewhat different setting again and again. Cold day, Bobby cut grass (7.00), planted perennials. Again and again have I experienced these activities but in some instances enjoying the work, especially perennial plantings.
The same theme persists. On a cold rainy day lost myself in working with the soil (also ruined my hands and nails), again and again the same activities. In most cases working with plants helps me to be stable, but today I developed a mounting nervous tension - simply a reaction to my prison status with Daddy. I fight against this state, winning most of the time.
This was a beautiful day. Tommy Webb has had the garden plowed several times until the soil is loamy, ready to plant. He planted vegetable seeds today, carrots, beans. I planted flower seeds, zinnias in a large plot. Daddy becomes antagonistic after 6 o'clock. He definitely is retrogressing since his behavior patterns are changing. When I see him every day, it is difficult to judge extent of his illness.
Are we supposed to live in the woods like timid deer or do we live like brave people, accepting anything which comes. Today on this day with bright sunlight and with the air cleansed I feel like a new person, one who will pursue her life as she so desires. T. Webb planted tomatoes and I planted begonias (with my happy side predominant). I became happier when Ann called with refreshing news. In her new school Amy scored very high on a National Test. Rosy called - Joe has a summer job.
My philosophy did not change today. I went to Charleroi by bus, had my hair completely revitalized (colored and cut), shopped around for two hours and finally came home about 1:20. This brief excursion away from Daddy was valuable for my state of mind and from what I could judge did not hurt him one bit. I must face the reality that he is physically present but mentally absent. This is sad, especially for me but I can't live in a continuous state of unhappiness. I must find someone to laugh with or I will also become ill.
I must continue to grow freely, honestly, patiently and cheerfully. When growth ceases, I will become non-existent. I determined to try to inject some such feeling in Daddy by getting him to walk a few blocks today. He, as usual, recognized several people, he got away from his usual environment, and he saw that the world was still with us. We walked on two different occasions today. I can't see any noticeable effect for Daddy, but I know it has a therapeutic effect on me. Visited Dora this afternoon.
When I write entries in this diary, I think "Eternal hour glass of existence will be turned again and again (and you with it.)" I do the same thing day after day, year after year, there is nothing new. I realize that I will have to live with every pain, sorrow, joy, sigh returning in somewhat different setting again and again. Cold day, Bobby cut grass (7.00), planted perennials. Again and again have I experienced these activities but in some instances enjoying the work, especially perennial plantings.
The same theme persists. On a cold rainy day lost myself in working with the soil (also ruined my hands and nails), again and again the same activities. In most cases working with plants helps me to be stable, but today I developed a mounting nervous tension - simply a reaction to my prison status with Daddy. I fight against this state, winning most of the time.
This was a beautiful day. Tommy Webb has had the garden plowed several times until the soil is loamy, ready to plant. He planted vegetable seeds today, carrots, beans. I planted flower seeds, zinnias in a large plot. Daddy becomes antagonistic after 6 o'clock. He definitely is retrogressing since his behavior patterns are changing. When I see him every day, it is difficult to judge extent of his illness.
Are we supposed to live in the woods like timid deer or do we live like brave people, accepting anything which comes. Today on this day with bright sunlight and with the air cleansed I feel like a new person, one who will pursue her life as she so desires. T. Webb planted tomatoes and I planted begonias (with my happy side predominant). I became happier when Ann called with refreshing news. In her new school Amy scored very high on a National Test. Rosy called - Joe has a summer job.
My philosophy did not change today. I went to Charleroi by bus, had my hair completely revitalized (colored and cut), shopped around for two hours and finally came home about 1:20. This brief excursion away from Daddy was valuable for my state of mind and from what I could judge did not hurt him one bit. I must face the reality that he is physically present but mentally absent. This is sad, especially for me but I can't live in a continuous state of unhappiness. I must find someone to laugh with or I will also become ill.
I must continue to grow freely, honestly, patiently and cheerfully. When growth ceases, I will become non-existent. I determined to try to inject some such feeling in Daddy by getting him to walk a few blocks today. He, as usual, recognized several people, he got away from his usual environment, and he saw that the world was still with us. We walked on two different occasions today. I can't see any noticeable effect for Daddy, but I know it has a therapeutic effect on me. Visited Dora this afternoon.
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