Life patterns.

Does destiny control our lives or are we the designers? Mother was sixteen when she found her first job with the Snowden family in Brownsville, a caring, loving one and with this first job the future patterns of her life were set.  This was a wealthy family where the father had extensive [missing word] in mining and transporting coal but the family was a saving one, nothing was wasted. Mother's family saved from necessity but this one because of their innate values. On Monday, the remnants of the turkey served on Sunday became stock for soup and left overs were carefully (prepared), taken to the many needy families in the vicinity.  Another pattern in their life which influenced Mother was the method used in child development: firm but loving, carefully nurtured. Mother's job was helping with household choses and babysitting. Another incident, I never tired of its repetition, told about the Sunday night when the cook failed to appear and Mother had to prepare the light lunch in the evening. When Mrs. Snowden asked Mother to make corn pone for this lunch, Mother, inexperienced, was terrified but her boss gently insisted, telling her she could do it and placed the recipe before her. After serving it, Mother left the house walking in the fresh air, full of misgivings and fearful of criticism but when she returned, the loving lady of the house complimented her, saying it was the best they had ever eaten and asking her to take the job of cook with her assistance. She did but eventually left to find work closer to her mother in Granville.

Happy is the little stone
That rambles on the road alone
And doesn't care about careers
And exigencies near fear.
-Emily Dickinson

The California Normal School was situated within walking distance from Granville. Mother never wanted to enroll there and even thought the students were strange individuals as most of her friends thought also. From standpoint of intelligence and academic training she and many of her friends could have mastered the work. But she found a job in this school working with those friends - waiting on tables, washing dishes, and cleaning up after meals. These girls lived nearby and their nights were their own, full of fun and laughter, entertaining themselves going to Revival Meetings (many of the girls Roman Catholic), dances, picnics, and seeing live plays enacted on the show boats moored near the river bank advertised by the calliopes music, and of course, weddings were the greatest attraction.

One such wedding especially significant to both the McManus and the Murphy families was that of Sarah McManus and Thomas Wood. During the period preceding the 1900's, there was no Church near but there was one in Brownsville--St. Peters. It would necessitate traveling several miles, difficult in this time and this area and I assume that the Priest did the traveling to Elco Hollow where the marriage took place. Dad and Mother were the two attendants. Dad seemed to be always around during these times and did not want to marry Mother then. How difficult it would be to make the right decision, but Mother took the least traveled road, a woman ahead of her time, dubious about bringing children into the world whom she could not properly take care of and aware of my dad's roaming inclinations, would he ever settle down and be as dependable as Sarah's husband, Thomas Wood. Did this road she traveled bring her the happiness and security she wanted.

As I review her life, I marvel at her courage because I could never have done what she did.  She went by train to a strange city to find work. The Employment Agency found her first job where I again marvel at her strength. In her first job, the lady of the house appeared arrogant and snobbish to her but she worked there for a short time until the lady complained to her about the Irish who came here in steerage, prospering until in a few years they could hire help. Mother's words to her were "What is my nationality?" "German," lady said. "With a name like Murphy", Mother retorted, "I'm one of the Irish and I quit." Living in a city far from home can be a lonely and difficult life but she stayed and found a job which suited her. Many times I ponder over Mother's character and wonder why I could not leave home, seek a different life, and take the road overgrown with brambles. And I explain it, my life was always a cloistered one, always protected, happy in my own surroundings really living in a cocoon, never daring to emerge. My mother had had a different life with several tragic events and was a better and freer person because of it. She soon found work which she enjoyed doing in a wealthy family who were good to her.

In this environment, Mother worked for several years. Here her employer wanted to finance a pastry shop which she would manage and supervise the baking but her mother in Granville became ill which necessitated her going home. Before leaving Pittsburgh she married my dad in St. Patrick's with two attendants in 1901. My grandmother died soon after this. Mother often remarked that she walked to Mt. Calvary Cemetery to visit her mother's grave, trying to dim the ache and ease her tensions, a person so alone. Irish were mystical but had strong enough faith to let the dead go. The McManuses first home was in upper Roscoe where James was born on August 25, 1902 and was baptized soon after in St. Thomas Church, Coal Center (St. Joseph, Roscoe was in the planning stage at this time.)

The search for a better life never ends for many. My father moved his family to Horning, Allegheny County, another mining town. The Union ideology was gaining strength at this time in the minds of many, especially Dad, an idealist who often sacrificed reality for his beliefs. Basic principles of Unionism helped the workers and gave them rights which had often been denied them - their union gave them strength with which they could fight for their demands but it also created conditions which were difficult, especially the use of strikes to force owners to meet their demands. LIke many organizations, the early Unions showed evidence of corruption. My Mother and my dad differed on this concept and I think she was more realistic than he who continued to lead men out on strike, losing weeks of wages and hurting his family financially. As the years passed, he became interested in working steadily, providing for his family and seeing that his children were educated - gone the radicalism of his early years. And as the grandchildren came, they were his joy, he loved them and they reciprocated.

Many incidents I remember about Horning which I will include in the story of my life. From notation in an old notebook in Mother's handwriting, the family moved back to Roscoe (Lucyville) on July 29, 1907. If that is correct, Bernard must have been born in Horning, January 8, 1907. (I was always under the impression that he had been born in Edward's house, opposite the McManus home.) Later, probably the following year, we moved in the house I live in today where Patsy was born August 20, 1909. Mother had three more children, all stillborn. Life goes on, we accept the joy and sorrow, happiness and sadness, light and dark.

(Many incidents I will include in stories of our lives for James, Bernard, Patsy and me.)

Mother and Dad bought our home for $850 from Aquila Underwood, Aunt Maria's father. They bought a piano. I was ten years old.  One sad event I will include here. Seized with the old wanderlust, Dad left his family on April 21, 1909, a complete surprise to Mother who was heart broken, as young as I was, I felt her pain. She must have been strong, left with three children, pregnant, how could she cope - we never went hungry and as one day passed and another came, life went on. Then one night I heard a loud knock on the door. Dad was back. I could not sleep but sensed Mother's feelings and I heard her walking the bedroom floor but he did come in. That was his last solo trip away from us. How hard it must have been to forgive but the reality of a woman trying to provide for four children must have been the reason for permitting him to come back. And each year Dad became more loving, helpful, and caring for all of us.

Conclusion of The History of the McManuses and Murphys.  Undated.